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LOS ANGELES GIVES RIOTS THE BOOT

For Immediate Release
October 1st, 2007

Los Angeles CA, – Tired of disappointing finishes, the City of Los Angeles gave the Riots the boot after 10 years of solid baseball with the City. The Riots earned themselves seven playoff appearances during their tenure in LA, but could not convince LA to give them another chance to win the World Series. According to a proclamation from the City Council, “We will not just sit by as some club from a podunk Arizona town rolls over us every October, and we cannot support banking the oversized payroll of a team that can’t bring the title to LA.”

In response, Riots Manager George Skiles announced, “While I am disappointed that our time in Los Angeles has come to an end, I am confident that our success will continue. I am confident that this club will one day win a World Series title. I am confident that one day in the distant future, Chris will mismanage a game. I am confident that one day Albert Pujols will contribute runs in a League Championship Series game. While this is a sad day for my club, I am confident that we will find a supportive city in Sacramento as our new home.” Silence fell over the crowd of reporters, then rumblings — “Sacramento?” “Yes, next year we will call Sacramento our new home as the Sacramento Capitals.”

Despite the disappointing finish, the team formerly known as the Riots celebrates a decade of success. After a not-so-encouraging first year — finishing with a 48-114 (.296%) record and 74 games back — the Riots enjoyed success in their 10-year stint in LA with six division titles and seven playoff appearances, and an overall 966-654 record — a .596 winning percentage.

Only time will tell if George and the Capitals can bring a title to Sacramento.

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